Joker x HQ: Learn to hold your TONGUE
by LadyJok3r
Summary: From Harley's POV. What happens when a henchman's tongue slips? It gets cut off! Learn to hold your tongue...Or others will. JxHQ


_I do not own Batman, DC, or any of its wonderful characters like JOKER or HARLEY QUINN...How ever I do own Hank!_

_This is The Joker from Batman The Animated Series.....Enjoy :p_

"Isn't she the greatest?" Mr. J said to his four henchmen sitting at a round table playing poker. I was standing on top of a nearby chair balancing a brand new spiffy black and red switch blade my

puddin' bought me on the tip of my nose. "Your right, she is...What I'm wondering is why is she with you," said a guy named Hank. All the rest of the guys gasped knowing his fate.

Hank was a real repulsive guy; he wore baggy jeans, dirty tee-shirts, and a single pair of country boots everyday. He also wore a bright green rubber band that pulled his long golden

locks into a tight ponytail. He had much facial hair; a mustache sideburn combo. "Oh, you have no clue," said Mr. J with a little chuckle before I ran up to Hank and tied his hair to the bottom

of the seat he was in. "Oh Hanky panky tanky! It seems you have bitten off more than you can chew," I whispered into his ear as I twirled the shiny blade between my middle and index finger in front of the

still and terrified man's eyes. "Do you know what happens in other countries?" said Mr. J as I calmly pulled out his tongue and moved my weight from heel to toe. "In other countries they

CUT!" "_AHHHHH"_ Screamed out Hank as I pressed the blade into his fat tongue. "Please Harl. Can I finish the moral of the story before you hurt the guy?" asked Mr. J. I pulled the blade out of

Hank's half severed tongue. "Humm," I said as I examined the man's tongue. "Puddin' I say you got seven minutes before he goes at the rate his blood is racing," I said as I sat on the table

in front of Hank. "Well thanks for that Harl. your a real helper," said Mr. J as he shot me a irate stare and began to circle Hank. "Well like I was saying Hanky my boy....What was I saying again?" "Something about

other countries and cutting," I responded as I noticed the three men that were once members of the poker game, we're now petrified boys in a corner. "Oh yes! Well, in other countries like

Iraq. You get your tongue cut off if your talk out of turn or-" "_uhhh,"_ said the man. "Oh now now, dont be rude... Oh that as well will land you in deep sand with my butcher here," said

Mr.J as he pointed to me. "Hey," I said waving at Hank. "Well, Harl. Do what you do best doll." "Sure thing puddin'," I said as I hopped off the table and skipped over to Hank

as his now damp eyes began to glass. _"pwees dwot dwo dwis, I'm bweggin woo mwiss_," muttered Hank. "Now ya see, begging will get you no where," I said as I placed the blade

back into the same spot I left off. "_Nwwooooo," _shouted Hank as I went to completed my duty but stopped near the end. I looked over to Mr. J who was now on the other side of the room.

"I don't think Hank got the point," I said. Mr. J began to walk over not taking his eyes off Hank's dangling tongue; Hank looked over to Mr. J then backup at me with red teary eyes.

"Hummm, I don't think that utensil will be needed any more cupcake," he said now looking me straight in the eyes. "You know Hank my boy. This could of all been avoided," Mr. J said as he took the

bloody blade from my hands and placed a gentle kiss on my jaw line. "But some people," He continued not taking his eyes off of me as he grabbed for Hank's tongue with his free hand. "Just never

know when to," he paused again to wipe the blood off the blade with Hank's wet red face. "HOLD THEIR TONGUE!" He said as he ripped the rest of Hank's tongue out of his mouth. Hank sat shouting in

agony as Mr. J laughed like a maniac and waving the tongue in the air like a little boy with a new toy plane. I sat back on top of the desk and crossed my legs waiting for the laughter and scream to stop, which

usually happened within two minutes when the guy would die of blood loss and Mr. J wouldn't find it funny anymore. Or Mr. J would stop finding it funny and the guy would be sitting their drowning in his own

blood, and in turn get a bullet between the eyes because he didn't die fast enough. Well for Hank, lets just say he didn't have much blood in him to last a gun shot.

_This is my first story, please do be kind with the reviews. But do tell me what you think..Just remember what happens to tongues around here :) j/k_


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